A World Without You
by TimeForMiracles
Summary: "... you really are afraid of losing me," Sebastian remarks. He knows he's stepping into very dangerous territory now as the grin on Jim's face fades. But it's not replaced by a look of anger or sorrow, but fear. Fear expresses itself on his face.


Jim shivers involuntarily against the body of his partner laying right next to him. It's an unusually cold Autumn night, and no matter how much of the blanket Jim wraps himself in, he cannot seem to get warm. He won't dare huddle against Sebastian's body – because, really, what would that get him other than rejection? Nope, he'd rather shiver away! And so he does, for a good twenty minutes. However, his body movements and teeth chattering eventually wake Sebastian up and he stirs, looking over at Jim groggily. He takes one second to assess the situation just from the clattering of teeth against teeth, and he reaches out into the darkness to find Jim's small body.

When he eventually does find it, he wraps an around Jim's waist and pulls him against his body. Jim protests softly by pushing against Sebastian's strong grip, but to no avail. His eyes soon grow heavy and half-lidded as he sidles up closer to his sniper. Said sniper just smiles in the darkness and strokes Jim's hair softly.

On any other night or occasion, they both might have been embarrassed... but not now, not tonight.

Eventually, sleep envelops both Jim and Seb, and they sleep rather peacefully for a good two hours or so. However, around three A.M., Jim's dreams take a turn for the worse, and he soon finds himself screaming as he bolts upright in the bed, his body full of sweat and his eyes filled with fear. Sebastian awakens with the screaming.

"Jim? Jim, you okay?" The sniper asks as his hand searches for Jim's in the darkness. He eventually finds it and squeezes it tightly. After Jim stops screaming, Sebastian starts again. "Jim?"

"Seb," he whispers. His breathes are rasp and desperate. He rests his head against Sebastian's chest and clings to him, his short nails digging into Sebastian's back. Sebastian sighs thoughtfully and with relief. He pats and rubs Jim's back and runs his free hand through his hair, over and over, whispering calming, soothing words to the little form, who is shaking from the traumatizing, nightmarish world he had just awoken from.

But Jim's safe. Jim's safe. He's here, with Sebastian. _Alive. _And that's all that matters. Because, and he would never say this aloud, a world without Jim would be hell.

Jim's shaking soon ceases, and his nails recede from Sebastian's back. If it's possible to feel the whole world's humiliation at the moment, then that's what Jim is feeling. He stays hugging Sebastian for a few minutes longer before scoffing. "Go sleep on the couch," he says disdainfully. But he doesn't mean it. Sebastian knows he doesn't mean it. And that's why he gets up and goes to the living room, plops down on the sofa and closes his eyes.

In the bedroom, Jim looks around in the dark for a few more seconds before laying back down and hugging his pillow, as if it were Sebastian in bed with him instead. He knew he had made a mistake the moment the words were out of his mouth, but he just couldn't take Sebastian seeing his vulnerable side. He's _Jim Moriarty!_ He kills people (albeit indirectly) and plays with their minds! And here he is, curled up in bed, pretending his pillow is his guman.

But that isn't so bad, is it? Jim realizes that this is _normal._ This is something human beings experience often – a feeling Jim's really never had the displeasure of experiencing. Loneliness. Maybe even a bit of longing for his favorite sniper. Jim doesn't know how to handle feelings well, and that's probably why he hops out of bed, dragging a blanket with him, and walks into the living room.

It's dark, but he knows exactly where the couch is. He can see the outline of Sebastian's form because of the digital clock blinking on the table beside the tele. Jim absolutely knows he's going to regret this later, but right now, he's finding that he really can't care less. He throws the blanket over Sebastian and just stands there watching him for a few moments longer. Then, he crawls onto the couch into the tiny space left between the cushions and thin air. Sebastian's body itself may not take up a lot of space regularly, but he's tall, so his body accommodates this by curling up in small spaces. Though Jim's finding it difficult to not fall off the couch, he stays in place as best he can and soldiers on. However, Sebastian stirs from a light sleep and immediately feels the changes around him. He looks to his left and comes face to face with Jim, whose eyes are closed as they search for sleep. Sebastian reaches his arm around Jim and shifts his own body onto it's back instead of it's side. Jim freezes up, but allows Sebastian to move him. He helps Jim on top of him before wrapping his arms tightly around the smaller man's back, hugging him close. "Comfortable?" Sebastian asks. Jim lays his head on Sebastian's chest, his heart rate quickening although it feels heavy.

"Uh-huh..." he manages before he closes his eyes again. Sebastian strokes Jim's sleep-endorsed mess of hair to comfort his troubled boss. It works, surprisingly, as Jim soon slips out of consciousness and into a world of dreams – hopefully not nightmares.

What Sebastian feels toward Jim at the moment isn't anything close to romantic or touchy-feely. No, what he feels is simple adoration for the sleeping form on his torso. Though he does _generally _feel something more than platonic toward him, he's almost certain his feelings aren't reciprocated.

And, strangely enough, he's just fine with that.

* * *

><p><p>

That same morning, Sebastian's already up and about by the time Jim cracks an eye open. He slept through the night, and he feels so incredibly refreshed as he curls into the blanket tucked around his body. "Sebastian?" he calls out. Sebastian walks into the room a second later and crosses over to the couch.

"Yeah?" he asks. Jim rubs his sleepy eyes and yawns tiredly into the crook of his elbow.

"'Time is it?" Jim responds softly, as he can't quite get a clear view of the clock from where he is. Sebastian, ever the prepared one, checks his watch instead of the clock.

"It's only like nine in the morning. You can sleep s'more if you want." Jim shakes his head and stretches.

"'Think I'm gonna take a bath or something, " he replies thoughtfully. He feels Sebastian's eyes scanning over him and watching him closely. "... Do you need something?" Sebastian hesitates.

"What were you dreaming about last night that had you screaming so loudly?" He doesn't mention the bits about the clinging and involuntary shaking. Jim pauses before tentatively looking for the right words to answer with.

"Though it's really none of your business and you shouldn't be asking, I'll tell you." He inhales deeply. "Losing you. That's what I was dreaming about." Sebastian's pulse quickens and he feels his heart hammering mercilessly in his chest.

"'That all?" he manages to get out. Jim grins knowingly and nods.

"Yep. I guess my conscience over-reacted or something," he says. Sebastian smiles.

"Or you really are afraid of losing me," Sebastian remarks. He knows he's stepping into very dangerous territory now as the grin on Jim's face fades. But it's not replaced by a look of anger or sorrow, but _fear. Fear_ expresses itself on his face.

"I am," he finally speaks up. "I am. I am afraid. Everyday." This takes Sebastian by surprise, but not too much. After last night, he's not sure how much else he could possibly be surprised by. This is a side of Jim he's never known, and damn if he doesn't want to get well acquainted with it. Jim tries covering up his fear with something still akin to the truth. "I'd be losing my best sniper. Where else am I going to find a marksman like yourself?" Sebastian just shakes his head and laughs slightly.

"Jim?" he begins.

"Yeah?" Jim asks. Sebastian kisses Jim's forehead gently and strokes his hair once before speaking softly.

"'m not goin' anywhere."


End file.
